I was out with Mrs Dufus for breakfast this morning (my treat) for her birthday. We were spending some quality time together chatting about various things. I told her I had joined a couple of internet fantasy football leagues and was explaining to her how the draft worked. Ha. Like I really know. I’ve never done this before. The only thing I know about fantasy football drafts is that the first one occurs at 3:00am this Saturday. Naturally, Mrs Dufus thinks I may be off my nut to get up at such an ungodly hour to participate in something about which I don’t know the first thing.

And I was explaining how watching football would be different. You see, as I understand it, you no longer cheer for your favourite team but rather cheer for various players across many teams. This means instead of just watching NFL games on Sunday afternoons, I’ll be tuning in to Thursday games, Friday games, Sunday night games and Monday night games.

Now Mrs Dufus already thinks she’s a football widow because of my Sunday afternoons glued to the TV beginning with the pre-game shows at noon, through a double-header afternoon which would normally end around 6:30 or 7:00pm. Sunday dinners at our place can be very difficult to time but, hey, that’s football. And it’s only for five and-a-half months or so.

So Mrs Dufus – no slouch when it comes to adding up the hours I’ll be sitting in front of the TV not just any given Sunday but now any given week, watching football – without skipping a beat says to me. “Well, then, I guess I’ll just have to find a fantasy lover.”

Excuse me?

Message received dear.


What does she see in this guy? He doesn’t even play football!